Saturday, July 20, 2013

Week 5: Insane in the Membrane

I am lazy.

That declaration should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever seen me attempt any sort of physical activity.  I am not naturally athletic.

I played softball for several years growing up.  Some of my many softball "talents" included clover-chain fabrication, staring off into space, and getting hit by the ball (a regular occurrence for a short, left-handed batter)--oh, and the occasional subsequent stroll to first base.

I participated in tumbling for a few years in grade school, but I am the least flexible person I know.  So, as you might imagine, that did not work out so well...

In sixth grade, I was a proud member of the cross-country team for exactly one day (maybe less).

My dad sent me to golf camps and even a cheerleading camp once, but I failed miserably at all of it.  I think that was a very difficult realization for my dad to come to as a coach for a variety of sports over the years and natural athlete.

Suffice to say, I read a lot as a child.

Interestingly enough, my dad and I were able to find common ground a few years ago when he wrote a weekly football column for a local online magazine and needed help with the editing.

Anyway, as an adult that lack of natural talent coupled with my inherent laziness has spawned a rather stagnant workout routine.  I'm not a huge fan of lifting weights or cardio.  Running has never been easy or fun for me although I have tried it off and on for the past several years.  I even participated in a 5k a few years back.  I think I finished in around 40 minutes or so--more so due to my competitive nature than my physical ability to do so.  For the most part, I tend to avoid any excessive, strenuous activity.   I do enjoy yoga occasionally, but again, I am the least flexible person I know so I cannot do a lot of the moves correctly.  I guess, in yoga, that leaves breathing...

Well, I'm painting a rather bleak picture here.

My other issue is that I am moderately to severely co-dependent (self diagnosed)--meaning I rarely do anything on my own.  My mom and I joined a gym together (right around the time we signed up for that 5k).  I never went by myself and we honestly did not go too many times together.  Basically, we spent a lot of money on the idea of working out with no real intention of actually partaking.

My brother, Matt, and I tried to do the Insanity workout several times, but we really took it easy on ourselves (i.e. paused the TV for looong periods of time or selectively participated in the exercises).  And, our schedules did not coincide well enough for us to continue the program for more than a week or two at a time.

Therefore, my challenge beginning this week (which is also appropriate given that it's following the cheesecake week) is to do the two-month Insanity workout by myself.

I created a schedule that closely follows the recommended plan.  I did give myself a few breaks to account for a few trips that were already planned.  My schedule has 21 rest days instead of the 8 on the real schedule, but I know for a fact that I am not going to bring the DVD and do the Insanity workouts while on vacation.  It's just not going to happen.

If everything goes according to plan, I should ultimately be finished by the end of September (roughly 2 1/2 months from start to finish).

I acknowledge that it all sounds a bit unrealistic.  But my last day of class ever was this Wednesday so I do not have that as an excuse anymore.  Plus, the whole point of this year-long experiment is to push myself.

I have no doubt that I am capable of a lot more than I have actually accomplished in my life thus far.  My problem is that I am really good at talking myself out of things.  I'm just so darn convincing!  My hope is that I will be able to channel that negative energy into more productive areas.  Instead of rationalizing my way out of experiences, I should be talking myself into those new adventures.

This week I did my first fit test which is supposed to determine your starting point as well as how far you have come over the course of the two-month program.  You have one minute per exercise to see how many you can do.  There are eight exercises total along with a warmup and cool down.  I'll be sure to post updates as the weeks progress so that you all can hold me accountable for this crazy plan.

Week One Results:
Switch Kicks - 75
Power Jacks - 30
Power Knees - 58
Power Jumps - 10
Globe Jumps - 7
Suicide Jumps - 10
Pushup Jacks - 4
Low Plank Obliques - 30

COMING UP... Week 6:Fore-midable Opponents


  1. Okay. You are so not lazy! Not quite the right word. But I am impressed with your motivation to workout. I should get on that for myself...

  2. I hope your having fun traveling but you owe your fans to finish this 2.5 months up strong!!!!!!